Hiberna Admiratio
by Danaeyl Panthernopaeus
Summary: Krad dislikes Christmas. Contains language, boys kissing, slight gore and insanity. Reader discretion is advised. Story progress: COMPLETE.


**~Hiberna Admiratio~**

**Author:  
**Danaeyl Panthernopaeus.

**Theme:  
**Alternate Universe.

**Storyline:  
**Christmas is a time of giving and surprises.

**Disclaimer:  
**The characters and characteristics of DNAngel _are not_ mine. This is a fan-based, non-profit story.

**Author's Note:**  
I don't know where this creative streak has come from. I assume it is because it was nearly a year since I posted a story before I posted "Horizon".  
Please be warned that this story does contain slight gore and insanity.

XxX

"Really?" Satoshi asked in a disbelieving tone.

Krad was expecting it, however. He knew his tamer wouldn't believe him, even if he had told him that it was going to snow tomorrow, which it was going to. Krad fluttered around the recesses of Satoshi's mind and nodded. Satoshi still wasn't convinced, not that Krad blamed him. He wouldn't believe himself if he had said what he just told the boy.

"What's the catch?"

Krad just shrugged without emotion and returned to the darkest corner of the boy's mind, locking himself away. If Satoshi didn't want to believe him, that was his choice. He was going to be bewildered when Krad lived up to his promise. Of course, that would be the _only_ time Krad ever would as he loved getting the boy's hopes up just to rip him down. He was like that with all of his tamers, except around that time of year. None of his tamers believed him when he told them he would let them have one day without having to worry about him.

Krad closed his eyes and sighed. He detested Christmas. The less he had to do with that day the happier he was. And if he was happy then Satoshi was happy-ish. He opened his eyes and floated around the little prison he had created for himself, thinking back two-hundred-and-fifty-three years ago. The Christmas that made him hate the holiday. If Satoshi knew that Krad didn't like Christmas, Krad got the feeling the boy would use it to his advantage and Krad couldn't have that. He had to keep it hidden that Christmas was a diabolical day in his mind.

Krad stopped moving and sat with his knees to his chest in the darkness. It was scary but the demonic angel did have feelings and thinking about _that_ Christmas always made his emotions surface. It was because Krad knew Dark loved Christmas. The dunkel engel always had a family that cared enough to get him a gift and that stung. Krad wasn't about to change who he was just for a brightly wrapped present but it still didn't make the loneliness go away. His tamers were usually alone for the day as well, which was why Krad locked himself away, so they wouldn't feel how alone he was.

It was the beginning of the week before Christmas and New Year break. Satoshi had been sitting in the classroom alone, until the other students began entering. No-one looked at him twice and Krad was grateful. No-one was allowed to look at Satoshi. He couldn't even muster up his usual possessiveness and Satoshi had picked up on that. Krad had lied and said that it was because he was tired. They'd had a run in with Dark the previous night and Satoshi had taken a fair bit of damage from it. When the Niwa boy showed up he was going to be surprised.

Behind the walls of his magic, Krad created the image of a beautiful Christmas tree, lights, tinsel, and shiny balls of red, gold and green and an angel at the top. Krad tilted his head and set the tree on fire, watching as all the joy went up in smoke. He wished he could do that to every tree in the town but knew that Satoshi would be very upset with him if he did. "Stupid holiday!" he hissed venomously, watching as all the cheerfulness fell to ashes by his feet.

Krad had been working on Satoshi's gift in secret. Just because he didn't receive anything didn't mean he was going to be a Scrooge about the day. Christmas was a time for giving and Krad had been pouring whatever feelings he could muster into the painting he was doing for his host, who would most likely burn it. Krad no problem with what Satoshi would do with it. If the boy did burn it at least Krad would see something go up in smoke on that day. He doubted that Satoshi would like it and because Krad was a Hikari, it would eventually turn evil and try to kill people.

Krad actually set himself up to be rejected; he knew that. It gave him more of a reason to be hateful towards people. They never appreciated him, because he didn't give them a reason to be, and whatever he did for them was always considered to be a trick. Krad never allowed himself be picked up as he knew the higher up he was, the harder he would fall. Krad had done that once, fell from a great distance, two-hundred-and-fifty-three years ago. Never again.

The ashes of the tree disappeared and Krad looked through Satoshi's eyes, keeping his magic up. The Niwa kid had shown up and was staring at Satoshi with shock. The little redhead catastrophe quickly took his seat when the bell rang. Krad snarled when Daisuke looked over his shoulder and his eyes were mischievous amethyst orbs. It was because of that _thief_ that Krad hated Christmas. That prick had ruined everything. His magic dropped and Krad was about to force his way through Satoshi but stopped at the sound of his tamer's voice.

_Don't_, Satoshi warned, letting Krad know that his resolute was going to be difficult to break through.

Krad backed off and went back to his corner. One day he was going to make that thief suffer. He would pay for everything he had done. Krad's hand slipped around his own throat and he clutched it, choking himself. Dark would pay for everything. Krad needed a punching bag to take out some of his anger and Dark was perfect. He released his throat and closed his eyes, deciding to sleep. At least in his dreams Dark couldn't taunt him and evade him.

XxX

Satoshi breathed a silent sigh of relief when Krad finally went to sleep. What was Dark hoping to accomplish by doing something like that? He gazed out the window as the snow fell softly, thinking. Before Krad's anger had taken over, Satoshi was certain he had felt something else. He knew he had to be imagining things as Krad wasn't the type to feel any other emotion other than hate, anger and contempt. And what was with Krad's weird promise?

Satoshi was still puzzled over that. Krad never gave him a day to have alone without wanting something in return. So why was he allowed to have Christmas Day to himself? Did Krad not like that holiday? Satoshi mentally snorted. Of course Krad didn't like that holiday. It was a joyous occasion and anything that was cheerful the blond hated.

Satoshi shifted slightly, finding it hard to concentrate on anything the teacher was saying. The pains of the battle from the night before were becoming annoying and harder to ignore. Why? Satoshi was getting pissed with Krad. He had to want something in return! He just had to. What could he possibly want? He was basically powerless to stop Krad whenever the blond was out, unless he used a lot of effort. So, Krad couldn't want a night of Satoshi not interfering.

The bell rang and Satoshi blinked. Thinking about Krad always did take up too much of his time. He stood and followed the rest of the crowd out of the room, heading towards their next class. He was a little surprised when Daisuke hung back and walked beside him. The boy haired boy assumed it was to make sure that he was okay after the previous night. Daisuke always felt sorry for Satoshi and he didn't know why. It wasn't Daisuke's fault that he was cursed with the blond.

"Are you okay? You seemed…sort of out of it in class."

Satoshi gazed at Daisuke with blank eyes. "I'm fine. You should keep yours under control, though. I had a bit of a difficult time keeping Krad back when Dark made that cameo."

Daisuke looked uncomfortable. "Sorry about that. I don't know why he did it. I think it had something to do with Christmas being next week. Dark's really excited about it for some reason. He won't tell me anything."

They reached the locker room for their next class, physical education. Satoshi just nodded and walked on, not joining the rest of the class for whatever they were going to be doing. He was far too sore and he couldn't wait for Krad to wake up so he could continue to question him about what he wanted in return. There was always something Krad wanted. Naturally the blond wanted to go on a bit of a killing spree but he couldn't have that. Satoshi sighed again and sat on the last row of the bleachers. He really _hated_ his curse at times, instead of just loathing the creature's very existence.

XxX

Why had Satoshi let him out tonight? Krad had said he didn't want to be there. Maybe that was it. Whatever Krad didn't want to do, Satoshi usually forced him to do it. The boy was asleep and Krad lazily dodged a feather that Dark had thrown at him. He summoned a ball of energy and threw it at the thief. He didn't care that it was a foot to the right of Dark. He just didn't care at the moment and was thankful that Satoshi wasn't awake to witness him sucking so badly. Why did he bother trying to stop Dark? It was obvious he was destined to fail every time he tried.

Krad yawned as he summoned another ball and threw it at Dark. That time it went three feet to the left of the thief, who wasn't even moving. He was hovering a foot from Krad, who hadn't even noticed he was that close. Dark looked into Krad's eyes. They were vacant, which was something that didn't happen whenever he was out and Dark was around. Dark raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side. It wasn't a trick. Krad really was out of it.

_Is he okay?_ Daisuke asked, seeing what Dark was.

_I have no idea. This isn't like him._ Dark snapped his fingers in front of Krad's face and the blond blinked, staring at him. "What's wrong, Kraddy? Are you cheating on me with some other thief?"

"That would be lovely," Krad replied flatly. He hated being around Dark at that time of year.

Dark frowned. Krad wasn't getting angry with him? That wasn't right and Krad being indifferent wasn't any fun. Dark moved in closer and smirked. "Bet he's not as sexy as I am."

Krad rolled his eyes and sighed. "No, he's not. He's old, fat and ugly. Does it matter? You've got the piece you were after. Piss off, already." Krad moved back a little, not liking Dark being that close to him. Of course, the thief was too thick to get the idea.

Dark moved closer again, still smirking. "You're taking all the fun out of it!" he whined. He wanted the angry Krad back and Dark only knew of one way to truly piss the blond off. He warned Daisuke and the boy nodded, closing his eyes. Dark wrapped an arm around Krad's waist and pressed his lips to the blond's. "Fuck!" Dark shouted, trying to pull back as Krad bit his lip hard enough to draw blood.

Krad gripped the front of Dark's shirt and kneed him in the ribs; enjoying the sound of at least two of them cracking. Krad eyes flashed maliciously as he gave a right hook to Dark's cheek. "If you ever touch me again, it won't just be your leg!"

"My leg?" Dark's eyes widened as Krad was forcing him down at a ridiculous speed. He cried out as a broken branch went through his left thigh. Dark was sort of grateful Krad pulled him off of it and slammed his back against the trunk of the tree, glaring at him.

Krad knew that his hands were shaking as he gripped Dark's shirt. He was losing the battle at keeping his tears back. He could see Dark's magic was already healing the wound so Daisuke wouldn't be injured the next day. Krad choked a sob back as he tried to fight around the lump in his throat so he could threaten Dark. He was failing and the thief was looking at him oddly. Was that what concern looked like? Krad didn't care. Dark was responsible for the tears, which were spilling down his cheeks.

_Daisuke, lock yourself away. Now._ Dark felt his tamer's hesitance but the boy did as he was told, locking himself away completely. He would be clueless the next day as to what happened. He was just as shocked as Dark was that Krad was crying and he wanted to know what was going on. Daisuke wanted to make sure it wouldn't affect Satoshi.

With Daisuke locked away, Dark wrapped his arms around Krad. It was the first time he had ever seen Krad cry and there was something else, other than the fact that Dark kept kicking his ass. Krad cried on the thief's chest, angry with himself for doing so. It just felt nice to be there, with Dark stroking his hair. The silence was heavenly, punctured by his sobs. Krad gripped the shirt tighter as everything of the last two-hundred-and-fifty-three years resurfaced. All the anguish he was forced to deal with. Just everything. He was sick of it all. And the best way to show that was having an emotion breakdown in front of your enemy.

Dark picked Krad up and took them down to the snow covered ground. It was a little less dangerous than standing on the iced branch. Snow crunching beneath their feet, Dark continued to stroke Krad's hair, wondering when the tears would end. Dark had no idea how much Krad had been locking away. Twenty minutes later, Krad sniffed and went to step back but Dark wasn't going to let him. He would hold that blond prisoner until he found out what the fuck was going on. Krad kept insisting, so Dark changed their positions, gently pinning Krad to the tree.

The thief's eyes widened slightly as he gazed down at Krad. Krad actually looked…adorable. He hiccupped slightly and kept sniffling. His normally hard eyes were soft and had various emotions swirling in their depths. His lips were parted slightly and his chin was still quivering. Absolutely adorable. Dark wiped the stray tears on Krad's cheeks away and the blond looked up at him, quickly adverting his gaze. Dark kissed his temple and Krad shifted uncomfortably. Dark was beyond caring about what irritated Krad; he knew which buttons to push anyway.

"What was that about?" Dark asked, resting his lips on Krad's shoulder, which were shrugged.

"Ju-just a couple cen-centuries o-of st-stuff," the blond hiccupped out.

Dark looked up at Krad. A couple centuries of stuff? Dark covered Krad's lips with his own. The blond struggled against him, like Dark knew he would but he could easily overpower Krad. Eventually Krad gave up and just stood there. Dark didn't like it when Krad refused to participate. The blond made it feel like he was masturbating with a Kraddy doll. Dark sighed against Krad's lips. Krad was being stubborn for a reason. Dark knew that his kiss could get Krad to melt against him and do whatever the thief would ask of him.

"What's wrong, Krad? You used to love me kissing you in the snow."

Krad shrugged one shoulder. "You're not getting what you want, Mousy. Stop acting like a spoilt child about it."

"And why aren't I getting what I want?"

Krad pushed Dark away and beat his wings, glaring at the thief. "Because I said so." He flew up and into the night, leaving a stunned Dark behind.

Krad landed on Satoshi's balcony and slipped into the apartment, sighing. Crying had made a big difference. He was now able to forget all about Christmas and just focus on making Dark suffer. He still needed a plan for that but Krad was good at coming up with plans. He just hated the fact that Dark constantly foiled them. With Satoshi still asleep, Krad dug around in the boy's closet, pulling out the painting and the paints. He continued with it, smiling contently, something no-one, not even Dark, would ever have the pleasure of seeing.

XxX

It was the cursed day. The night before, while Satoshi slept, Krad had possessed the boy's body and set up the painting in the living room, covered it with a cloth and a card pinned to it. Krad didn't even know what his tamer thought about it, as Krad had completely locked himself away, like he had promised he would. Satoshi was allowed the entire day to forget that Krad even existed. Krad wanted to forget he existed for that day.

In his little prison, Krad floated around, finding things to do. He was formulating a plot against Dark but every one he came up with, he found a large flaw with it. Nothing was good enough to kill the thief and Krad sighed. Did he really want to kill Dark? More than anything. Krad groaned and threw himself onto a bed that appeared. He had broken down in front of Dark and that was enough. Krad didn't want to see him for another three or four thousand years. It was just his luck that Satoshi wasn't going to breed. The bed disappeared and transformed into a riverbank. Krad pulled his knees to his chest as he stared at his reflection.

I'm so pitiful, he told himself. At the moment, he continued, I'm not even good enough to be called a curse. I'm just a wreck. Krad smirked at his thoughts. What was the word people were using in that day-and-age? Emo? Yes, Krad was feeling very 'emo' at that moment. Depression was a horrible thing and the pale angel wished he could talk to someone about it. Of course, as soon as the 'silly season' was over, Krad would go back to the way he was. He would lock everything up and hide behind his anger and hate, secretly wishing someone would see the pain and help him.

A leaf fell from the tree beside the river and rippled the water, distorting Krad's reflection. Everything shimmered back into the darkness and Krad lied back, closing his eyes. Life sucked sometimes. Well, maybe not life as Krad didn't have one. But existing sucked. He snickered at that and rolled onto his stomach, resting his cheek on his wrists, eyes still closed. There was a chuckle and Krad opened his eyes. A copy of Dark appeared and Krad growled. Where the hell had he come from? The last thing Krad ever thought about in his prison was Dark standing there, smirking at him and still breathing.

Krad got to his knees and with amazing speed, Dark got down on one knee in front of him and kissed him quickly before disappearing. Krad blinked. Was that his subconscious trying to fuck him over? He went with that. It was the only logical explanation as Krad was aware it was _impossible_ and not even _probable_ for Dark to get into Satoshi's mind, much less into Krad's prison. Krad hated his mind as well. He hated everything about himself, including his senseless bloodlust. He hated his appearance, his attire…_everything_. There was not one thing that Krad could think of that he liked about himself. He couldn't even think of one good quality.

"Useless. Pathetic. Pitiful. Sealing yourself away would be a mercy," he hissed at himself and laughed hysterically. "You're not an angel. You're not even a demon. You're about as useful as a _human_."

Krad threw himself against the diamond wall of his prison, pain surging through his being. He knew it was all fake but it still felt good. He threw himself face first onto the other side. It felt real enough as his nose splintered, blood running from it. He wiped it away and flicked his hand, making a white floor come up so he could see how much he could lose. He even illuminated the walls, which made them see through. If Satoshi were to peek in at him, the boy see Krad throwing himself around.

Diamond spikes appeared on a side and Krad hesitated. "You can't even do something as simple as that!" he taunted. He laughed as he threw himself onto the spikes. They penetrated his chest and abdomen. He coughed blood onto the wall and licked it. "Tastes like copper. Do it again!"

Krad stepped back, blood splattering to the floor. He coughed up more blood before impaling himself on the spikes again, making new holes on himself. _It tickles!_ He giggled at his thoughts, pulling himself off them. He slammed his forearm onto them, watching the way the skin ripped as the tips were forced through, a spray of blood covering his face. He licked his lips and smirked and ripped his arm downwards, the bones snapping. Krad stumbled backwards, holding his damaged limb, laughing like a madman.

The pain felt good as Krad let go of his nearly severed arm. Blood poured from it and stained the floor. Krad grinned and gripped one of the spikes that was dripping with the life force. He snapped it off and stabbed it through his right thigh. His grin grew wider as he move the spike from side to side, watching crimson spill out of the wound. He pulled it out and slowly forced it through the inside of his left thigh, chuckling at the agony. When the tip broke through the other side, he forced the skin at the back of his thigh to rip as he forced the spike to cause as much damage as possible. With the back of his left thigh ripped open, Krad let out a high-pitched squeal that turned into laughter. He sounded like a mad scientist.

The spike disappeared from his hand and took its original position with the others. With a sweet smile, Krad examined the forearm that was only attached to his body with some flesh and muscle. He gripped it and twisted the rest of it off, discarding it to the side somewhere. The pain was amazing and he wanted more of it. There wasn't enough blood on the ground. There would never be enough of his blood on the floor. He needed to _swim_ in it! He threw his back onto the spikes, his eyes rolling backwards as agony rushed through his body. It was the most amazing feeling he had ever experienced. Blood was being caught in his throat and he coughed it onto the floor. He hung from the nails, watching as the scarlet fluid ran out of his mouth in a steady stream.

"You're still useless," he garbled through the blood. "Just like the first one said, you'll never amount to anything." Krad let his body fall. He could feel his ribs breaking, giving out under the weight of his body. The skin tearing and what he needed to swim in was flowing from all of his wounds like a river. He looked at his discarded hand. "What is pain?" he asked himself. "My friend. My only friend." Krad laughed as snow began to fall silently, becoming tainted with the blood. He was completely unaware of the blue eyes that watched him with shock and horror. "_Hiberna Admiratio_. Winter surprise!"

XxX  
End.

Well, that wasn't what I had in mind for this story but it somehow came about.

Um…Please review?


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